


Blazed

by TimmyJaybird



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Teen Titans - All Media Types
Genre: Humor, It's just pot, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Tim is high as fuck, it's actually not shippy, you can take it as ships if you want though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 13:19:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6612109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimmyJaybird/pseuds/TimmyJaybird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kon's not shocked he's unaffected by weed- but once he realizes he's got to deal with Tim high, he <i>regrets</i> it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blazed

**Author's Note:**

> I have had this stupid idea in my head for like weeks. And considering what day it is (haha 420), I thought why the hell not? This took a whole 31 minutes to write, and it's meant to just be ridiculous.

“I don’t feel anything,” Kon said, scrunching up his nose and passing the bowl across from him, to Bart. Bart took it, fumbling with the lighter before finally getting it to light, and took a long drag. Kon watched as he exhaled a rush of smoke, before passing it back to Tim.

 

“You probably won’t,” Bart admitted, getting his arms around one of his legs, tugging it towards his chest. “Unless we’ve got like,  _ magical weed _ , you’ll probably just have to watch.” Kon rolled his eyes, heard the  _ click _ of the lighter, and a moment later saw Tim exhaling a long trail of smoke.

 

“Lame,” he said, as Bart took the bowl back. “It works for you?”

 

“Not long,” Bart admitted, taking another hit. He closed his eyes, sighing as he exhaled, before sending it back Tim’s way. “Like, ten minutes tops.  _ Sucks _ but oh well.” He grinned, and it seemed  _ easier _ , his body already seeming relaxed. “And this is about as high as I get.”

 

Kon nodded. He hadn’t really been sure what to expect when Bart had all but dragged him to Tim’s room, telling him they had a  _ surprise _ . Honestly, this was about the most boring surprise  _ ever _ , and he’d rather be stuck watching whatever movie marathon Gar and Cassie had going, in the lounge.

 

“You don’t even really look affected,” Kon pointed out, and Bart leaned his chin down on his knee.

 

“Mmm, I feel it a bit. I want a blanket and probably like, a bowl of cookie dough.”

 

“Those are things you  _ always _ want.”

 

Bart only giggled. Kon rolled his eyes, turning to Tim, ready to ask if he thought this was as ridiculous as Kon did-

 

And stopped dead.

 

Tim was  _ smiling _ , smiling like he was fighting holding in a laugh, his eyes a little red, almost half lidded. He looked… relaxed in this strange sort of way, like Kon had never  _ seen _ .

 

“Tim?” he asked, and Bart turned, looked through his untamed veil of auburn hair- before he grinned.

 

“ _ Shiiiit _ , you okay Timmy?” Tim only nodded, lifting the bowl back to his lips and lighting it, taking  _ another _ drag.

 

“Bart… maybe he should stop,” Kon said, and Bart only waved him off.

 

“Nah, Tim’s got this. Not his first rodeo.” Bart turned his cheek onto his knee now, watched as Tim set the bowl aside, leaning his head back against his bed. He was the only one sitting against it, in the little circle they’d created on the floor.

 

“I could take a nap,” Tim mused, and Kon could  _ hear  _ how relaxed his heartbeat was.

 

“Uh, well we can go,” Kon started, not exactly sure what he should be doing. Bart rolled his eyes, standing up and taking the few steps towards Tim, reaching down and grabbing him by his wrists, giving a tug. Tim let himself flop forward, his face pressing to Bart’s thigh- where he started giggling. “Oh god,” Kon muttered, standing up as well, “is he  _ supposed _ to be like this?”

 

“Yup,” Bart said, tugging at Tim’s arms. “C’mon Tim, get up or I am eating  _ everything _ in the kitchen without you.”

 

Tim gasped, suddenly jumping up, turning and bolting for the door. Bart grinned, took off and was gone in a blink of Kon’s eyes. He huffed, following after them. He  _ heard _ them well before he was even in the main lounge, and the moment he walked in, Cassie and Gar both turned around on the couch, eyeing him.

 

“What?” he asked, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

 

“What’s up with them?” Gar asked, jerking his thumb towards the fridge. Kon heard the cupboards being opened, and promptly slammed shut- heard the fridge being torn through.

 

“Bart’s always hungry,” he said. He tried to look casual- but he noticed Cassie scrunch up her nose, before her eyes widened a little.

 

“Oh my god, you guys are  _ high _ .”

 

“What?” Gar yelled, jumping up on the couch and grabbing the back, leaning halfway over it. “No way-”

 

“I am  _ not _ ,” Kon said, and then- “It didn’t work on me.”

 

“Figured as much,” Cassie said, folding her arms and resting her chin on them. “Bart’ll be fine soon too, right?” Kon nodded. “ So that just means-”

 

“ _ Red Robin is stoned in our kitchen _ !” Garfield yelled, looking way too  _ excited _ about this.

 

“Shh, I don’t think they heard you all the way back in Gotham,” Kon said, before he went pale. “Oh my god,  _ oh my god _ Batman is gonna know. Fuck Batman is going to kill us, I’m going to wake up with Kryptonite in my  _ eye socket _ -”

 

He stopped when Cassie chucked one of the pillows off the couch at him. “Relax,” she said, “it’s not like he’s never been high before. Batman’s not going to murder you. It’s just  _ pot _ . I think he’d be more angry is Tim was drunk off his ass or something. Now,” Cassier jerked her thumb towards the kitchen, “ _ you _ go rein them in. I’m not doing it.”

 

Kon let his shoulders slump, heading for the kitchen. He found Bart sitting on the table, a bag of chips open and being tossed into his mouth in his  _ usual _ too-fast manner. That wasn’t out of the ordinary.

 

What  _ was _ was finding Tim sitting on the floor, with a bag of Oreos and a jar of peanut butter between his legs.

 

“Uh, Tim?” Kon asked, bracing a hand on the back of the one of the chairs. “What’re you doing dude?”

 

“Snacking,” Tim said, as if it was  _ obvious _ , as he slapped a giant glob of peanut butter on top of an Oreo, before shoving the knife back in the jar and settling another Oreo on top. Kon watched him bite the monstrosity in half, and look  _ so pleased _ with himself.

 

“Okay, maybe we should uh… get you to take that nap you wanted.”

 

“Oh he’s not in his nap phase now,” Bart said, watching with his  _ now empty _ bag of chips. “Trust me. That ship has sailed. Just let him eat and I don’t know, get a little physical with him.” Bart wriggled his eyebrows, and Kon felt his face going  _ red _ .

 

“What?”

 

“Trust me, Tim gets handsy when he’s high.”

 

“Do you two  _ do this a lot _ ?” Kon asked, wondering how he’d  _ missed it _ . One too many weekends at the farm, apparently.

 

“Not a  _ lot _ ,” Bart said, hopping off the table. Tim reached up, wordlessly handed him one of the peanut butter Oreo sandwiches. “But enough.”

 

Kon sighed, tipping his head back and groaning. “How long is this gonna  _ last _ ?”

 

“I dunno, give him a few hours.”

 

“ _ A few hours _ ?” Kon yelled, and Tim looked up at him, biting back a laugh.

 

“Dude, he took a  _ lot _ of hits. Like while we were sitting there talking.  _ He’s gone _ .”

 

Kon huffed, scrubbing his hands up over his face, before looking back down at his best friend. Tim had lost interest in his snack, it seemed, and was up already,  _ crawling up _ onto the counter to reach one of the top cupboards for what, Kon wasn’t even sure.

 

He didn’t know how he was going to survive  _ hours _ of this. And he didn’t expect Bart to be any help at all.

 

He almost wished Batman  _ would _ magically find out, so he’d show up and help Kon  _ handle _ this.

 

_ Almost _ .

**Author's Note:**

> This is the fun part where I mention I'm not even a smoker, but damn do I think these guys need to relax a little now and then.


End file.
